Liebster Awards - Wait, what?

Apparently there is this thing called the Liebster Awards floating around out there. Yeah, I'd never heard of them either, until It's Why You Like Me so graciously nominated me to participate. (Thanks for that, by the way. Now I actually have to do something semi-productive. Geesh.) Anyhoo, I guess the main idea is to help people discover new blogs that are out there.  It seems those nominated are required to write 11 random facts about themselves; answer 10 questions written by the person who nominated them; and come up with 10 questions for the people they nominate.

So here are 11 random, useless fact about me that no one gives an actual fuck about.

1) I am trying my hand at vegetable/fruit gardening. The kids and I just planted peas, carrots, radishes, watermelons, red bell peppers and cherry tomatoes. 

2) I spent most of my childhood living in England, Scotland and Spain.

3) I cannot parallel park to save my life.  I have a back-up camera in my minivan and can sometimes do it now, as long as there are no other cars in the general vicinity of where I am parking.

4) I loved being pregnant and it makes me sort of sad to know I will never experience that again.

5) I sneak candy bars.  Seriously.  I had a Twix yesterday and literally shoved an entire one in my mouth because I heard one of the kids coming.

6) I am not a fan of Disney.  I think it is an over-the-top, overly expensive piece of hell on earth. We went to Legoland last September and I would happily go back there any time.  That also doesn't mean that I won't ever go. I know the kids would give just about anything for us to take them, so I suppose it is going to have to happen one day.  I do, however, love Disney movies.

7) I drink coffee everyday, can't go without it, but I'm not actually that big of a fan.  At least not of the stuff you make at home.  I'll drink Starbucks any day, but the homemade stuff never tastes as good.

9) I always wanted to be an actress.  A movie star, in fact. I did a lot of singing, dancing and acting as a child but stopped when we moved back to the States when I was in 9th grade.  I regret not following through with it and giving it a shot.

10) I would love to get back in shape now that the baby is over a year old, but honestly, I just can't find the motivation. I have lost all the weight, but there are certain jiggly areas that shouldn't be jiggling.  I don't know why I am having such a hard time finding my workout mojo.

11) I went to boarding schools in England and Scotland from 11 years old until I was 14 and we moved to Florida.  I wasn't a "bad kid" or anything. It was actually my choice to go and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I made some wonderful friends that I still ave today.

Now for the questions submitted by It's Why You Like Me.

1. What is your favorite cuss word?

Fuck. I know, it is like, the worst one, but I can't help it.  It has so many uses; Fuck this.  Fuck that.  Fuck him.  Fuck her.  Fuck them.  Fuck me.  What the fuck. Mother fucker.  I don't give a fuck.  I don't give a flying fuck. Dumb fuck.  Fuck stick.  Fuck off.  My mother even coined the term "toad-fuck" during a fit of semi-road rage. I could go on, but I think you get the fucking point.

 

2. Have you ever said (and meant it) "I forgot to eat today"?

Honestly, yes, I have.  I always said I would never be "that person".  I mean, seriously, how does someone forget to eat?  My mother used to say it all the time and I never understood it.  I mean, my stomach ALWAYS reminds me when it is time to eat!  Then I had my third baby (fifth between the hubs and I).  When you add a fifth child into the mix, life gets really freakin' busy. Suddenly taking a shower takes precedence over eating. As does not moving for fear of waking the baby that sleeps on your chest, making it very challenging to get food.

3. Tacos or Burritos?

Tacos, for sure.  I prefer the crunchy ones, but the hubs and kids prefer soft, so that's what we usually have. Plus I always overfill the soft ones, so they end up more like burritos. 

4. What is your favorite childhood memory?

I know I should have one of these, but honestly, nothing immediately springs to mind.  I didn't have those family traditions like camping at the lake every summer, or family skiing trips every winter.  My parents traveled a lot.  I would say my happiest memories in general are from when my brother and I lived with our grandparents.

  

5. What is your favorite memory of YOUR child? (yes pets are children too)

This hits two kids with one stone...wait, that didn't sound right....anyhoo....my favorite memories of my now 7 and 8 year olds are from when they were in the 2-4 age range and the three of us would put a bunch of blankets and pillows down on the livingroom floor, put in a movie and all take a nap together.  Now I would have to say the laughter around the dinner table when all 5 kids are home (2 stepdaughters) and the baby is doing something funny.

6. When you had that "ideal" significant other checklist (you did, shuddup) in your head how many of those characteristics are held by your current significant other?

Motivated - check.

Funny - check.

Hot - check.

Good kisser/lover - check/check.

Handy around the house - check.  Seriously, I think the man can fix anyfreakingthing.  He is also good with cars.  He built an entire motor all on his own, in the garage, for his old pick-up truck.  I wish I could spout off all the specifics but I'm not good like that.  I know it was a "something-stroker", I think I only remember that because it sounds dirty.

Good father - check.

Good provider - check.

Patient - check and uncheck.  Depends on the situation.  He has a lot more patience with me than with the kids.

7. What song do you want played at your funeral that best represents you?

"I like to Move It, Move It" The King Julian version.

8. Explain to me why twerking is even a thing. Really. Explain, please.

Because the world is coming to an end.  Forget the zombie apocalypse.  The end of the world is already beginning.  I blame the parents of today who didn't/don't force their children to take accountability for their actions and who are too afraid of said children to punish them and teach them respect for themselves and the world around them. 

9. Tell me anything here cause I'm over thinking of shit.

I hate the word "moist".

10. I thought of one other thing -- fabric softener sheets or liquid?

I don't use either, but if I had to choose, probably liquid.

Now for my nominations and questions.

Abandoning Pretense - We met Freshman year at college and were roommates the following year. She is hella-funny and is really good at reminding us to keep it real.

Play Pen - The Irreverent Parents Guide - When I got it in my head that it would be a good idea for me to start this blogging-business she was fairly new to it as well.  We promised each other we would help each other out. I've been neglecting my duties big time. (You're welcome.)

One Funny Daddy - He is funny. And easy on the eyes. Nuff said.

1) What is the most embarrassing thing your child has done/said to you in front of another adult?

2) If you could bring one person back from the dead, famous or not, who would it be and why?

3) Underwear - yes or no?

4) Name one place you have never visited but would love to.

5) Beach or pool?

6) Name a word you hate.

7) Are you a dog person or cat person?

8) Why is it so hard for me to think of questions?

9) Why did you start blogging?

10) Does your significant other get jealous of your relationship with Facebook?

11) What is your favorite holiday?

There you have it, folks. A whole shit-ton of useless questions and answers. Hopefully my nominees play along and don't hate me now.